The Red Flag I Could Feel

i think what caught me off guard

was how physical it was.

like my body reacted

before i even had a thought about it.


because logically,
nothing about her life matches mine.


complete chaos.


stories that sound unreal.
violence.
drugs.
destruction.
constant turbulence.


and yet
every interaction feels charged.


not even because of what’s said.


it’s the energy around her.


the intensity.


the way she looks at me.
the way she speaks.
the way the air changes slightly
when we interact.


it’s strange feeling that level of attraction
toward someone
that objectively carries so much damage.


like i can feel the instability
while simultaneously being pulled toward it.


and i think that’s what fascinates me.


how chaos can have gravity.


real gravity.


like a black hole.


something collapsing in on itself
with enough force
to pull everything nearby closer.


i don’t even think it’s emotional.


it feels chemical.


animal.


the type of attraction
that bypasses thought completely.


because even now,
when i picture her,
my body reacts first.


not my mind.


my body. 


— Mr. Mak


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