The Mind of Mr. Mak

motion not e-motion. back then it was e-motion. every feeling grabbing the wheel. every wave deciding direction. hurt meant speed. fear meant turns i didn’t plan. now we in motion. never e-motion. you get a grand token when you learn to tread water in the deep ocean. particles always in motion, whether i react or not. so i stopped reacting. it’s swifty the way i move— nothing jerks the wheel anymore. the current still runs, just behind the scenes. i call that response. — Mr. Mak

we met between shows, neon bleeding through the lobby, music still vibrating in our bones like the night didn’t want to let us go. you danced like time wasn’t real. like tomorrow hadn’t learned how to speak yet. the disco ball breaking us into fragments, light catching on your smile every time you turned back to make sure i was still there. we drank too much. laughed too loud. moved through the city like it already knew my name and was just learning yours. for a few hours, there was no stage. no crowd. no distance between where i stood and where i was going. just motion. just heat. just us pretending this could stay simple. you knew who i was without asking. i knew you felt it without saying. that’s why you left early. no scene. no tears. just a quiet exit while the bass was still loud enough to cover it. i found the cassette on the driver’s seat. no label. just my name, written like you didn’t want it noticed. your voice comes on soft. you laugh— the kind of laugh that remembers every...

i  pray we make it far. i pray we heal our scars. i pray my brothers walk with me as we mark our place. i pray everyone i love flies. i pray everyone is held by warmth, knowing i’m the guardian angel they prayed for. i pray i wake up every day. i pray for execution with this consistency. i pray you won’t be afraid to reach me, i’ll be here whenever you need me. — Mr. Mak

face the world. if you’re a star, make sure you’re shining. no one can stop the one who’s anointed. shining bright. diamonds and pearls. when they offered me the world, i said nah — i never needed pearls. i already had it staring out my blinds. i looked out to see what i could find. sometimes it feels like i’m losing my mind — half of me comfortable, the other half destructible, both standing trial in the same crucible. i remember staring out my blinds, wondering what i’d find if i trusted my life with all of this time. — Mr. Mak