Late Night Alley

the city is different
after midnight.


quieter.


honest.


like everybody is finally
too tired to pretend.


streetlight flickering.


air cold enough
to keep you awake.


i’m walking alone.


hoodie on.


hands in pockets.


mind loud.


and lately—


i swear


everybody has been looking
at me different.


or maybe—


i just notice it more.


—


he’s eyeing you weird.


there goes the voice again.


he’s trying to lil bro you.


i glance back.


dude standing there.


phone in his hand.


probably minding his business.


but my mind?


already writing stories.


funny thing about paranoia—


it doesn’t ask for proof.


it fills in the blanks.


—


they’re watching.


they’re sizing you up.


they’re waiting on you to slip.


ego steps in.


quiet.


confident.


dangerous.


or maybe—


people just notice you now.


maybe attention feels different
when you stop walking
with your head down.


damn.


that one hit.


because i used to move invisible.


glasses on.


head lowered.


hoping nobody noticed me.


three hundred pounds.


chest in.


trying to disappear


before the world


could decide


what i was worth.


now?


i walk in rooms


and feel eyes.


girls hold eye contact longer.


guys carry weird energy.


rooms shift.


attention gets louder.


and somewhere along the way—


being seen


started feeling dangerous.


—


don’t trust it.


paranoia again.


everybody has motives.


they’re smiling in your face.


waiting on confidence
to crack.


ego laughs.


that calm kind.


you think everybody
is thinking about you.


truth is—


some people just notice presence.


you asked life to change.


this is what change feels like.


—


city lights reflecting
off puddles.


cars passing slow.


music low in my headphones.


one of those nights


where the city feels alive


but somehow


you feel alone in it.


and i stop walking.


middle of the alley.


middle of myself.


because maybe


both of them are wrong.


maybe nobody is thinking
about me that much.


maybe attention


just feels heavier


when you spent years


feeling invisible.


maybe confidence


is still catching up


to the nervous system.


funny thing—


when life changes,


your mind


doesn’t arrive


at the same time.


one part of you


already knows—


you’re different now.


the other is still waiting


for somebody


to humble you back


into old skin.


—


i take a breath.


keep walking.


city quieter now.


paranoia still talking.


ego still talking louder.


me?


somewhere in the middle.


learning how to be seen


without turning attention


into danger.


late night alley.


me.


my ego.


my paranoia.


and the city.


all trying to figure out


which version of me


gets home tonight.


— Mr. Mak


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