goodbye ottawa

 i’m not just leaving a city —

i’m leaving a version of myself that lived here.


ottawa held so much of me.


it held:


  • the boy who walked these streets with his head down,
  • the man who returned with his chest open,
  • the memories that shaped me,
  • and the ghosts i finally laid to rest.



i came back one way,

and i’m leaving another.


that’s why my hands shook,

why my chest got tight,

why my heart felt heavy with emotions i couldn’t name.


because endings that matter

always feel like grief —

even when they’re right.


i closed loops here.


  • i saw bren — the brother i grew up with
  • i set a boundary with my cousin
  • i sat in abdul’s chair one more time
  • i walked the campus i once hated myself in
  • and i faced the old me who lived here in silence



i didn’t just revisit the past.

i reclaimed it.


my soul knew what was happening

before my mind understood.


this isn’t graduation from school —

it’s graduation from a chapter of my life.


leaving home doesn’t mean losing anything.

it means taking only what’s mine.


i’m not leaving empty.

i’m leaving lighter.


and now,

the world opens.


when i step out of this last doorway,

i won’t rush.


i’ll take one final breath.

i’ll acknowledge the boy who lived here.

the boy who tried.

the boy who survived.


and then i’ll walk out

as the man

who no longer needs this place

to remember who he is.


i’m not leaving home.


i’m taking home with me.


— Mr. Mak


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