Distant Relative
i walked into that room knowing i’d been gone too long.
faces i used to know by heart felt like strangers,
my own blood who once would’ve done anything
just to see me show up and i never did.
i hid from the world, convinced crowds drained me,
but really i was running.
running from being seen,
running from my own reflection,
running from feeling small.
every hug, every “where you been?”
hit me with the time i can’t get back.
but when they kept saying
“damn, you’re handsome now,”
it didn’t fuck with me
it lit me up.
because i earned this.
because for the first time,
i felt seen.
i felt recognized in a way i never did
when i was fat and invisible,
like the work i put in finally showed,
and i wasn’t hiding behind excuses anymore.
and then there was her.
the girl i treated like shit,
when i was a piece of shit myself.
i was cruel, petty, and insecure
talking shit to feel powerful.
i let her cuss me out,
let her pour out years of pain
i caused with my own hands.
i didn’t deflect.
i didn’t argue.
i took it all because i deserved it.
and when she started to break down,
i pulled her in close,
held her as her voice cracked,
felt the years of hurt we both carried
lift in one moment of raw truth.
i saw the love i’d been running from
in every smile, every laugh,
every playful jab about where i’d been.
i realized i’d been gatekeeping my presence,
keeping my own people from knowing
the best version of me they always believed in.
i’ve always been the one who lights up a room,
but i was afraid of what that light meant.
afraid to stand out before i felt worthy.
now i see that being seen
wasn’t something to fear,
it was something they were waiting for.
and it took me owning every mistake,
every scar, every triumph,
to finally step into the man they always knew i could be.
Makaveli out.
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