Written From The Silence They Left Me In.

 save this for when you forget your worth.                                              or for when she texts you out of nowhere.

i used to think i had a crush on her.

but it wasn't her. it was the feeling she gave me. the validation... that high. like the first drag of a cigarette after a long day. quick hit. short peace. then the burn.


i wasn't in love. i was hooked on being noticed.

hooked on being the man she called at 2 a.m. when he let her down.

hooked on being "different."

until i realized... i was never different.

i was just safe.

the safe guy. the deep texter.

the one she called "so sweet' 

right before falling for someone who'd never lose sleep over her.


and every time i saw her name light up my phone, i'd feel that same little hit of dopamine.

like nicotine in my bloodstream.

i knew it was killing me. but i kept smoking her anyway.

that's what most men won't admit.

we chase women not because we want them,

but because we want to be wanted. just once.

we go through these cycles

with different women just to end up at the same place.


and now? i don't chase. i choose.


the woman i want?

she's not perfect, but she's present.

she's grounded, but she knows how to fly.

she doesn't run when i'm intense — she leans in. 

she doesn't flinch when i go quiet — she feels it.


she can hold space.

laugh with her whole soul. and when i speak? she doesn't just hear me — she remembers me.

she's not afraid of love. she's just been waiting for a man who carries it like me.

i'm done chasing butterflies

that land on everyone's shoulder.

i want the rare one. the sacred one.


the one who doesn't need me...

but chooses me.

just like i'll choose her.


so no,

i don't hate the girls who left me on read.

i don't hold bitterness for the ones who made me almost enough.

they were just part of the lesson.

part of the burn.

they taught me what i don't want.

they showed me how powerful my presence is.

because when you're real in a world full of performances, they'll feel you forever, even it they never held you.


i'm not the man waiting to be picked anymore.

i am the man who sees the queen.

and when i find her? 

we won't play games. we'll build the empire.


but until then?

i light my cigarette. take a long drag. and remember..

i'm not the man who needs to be chosen.

i'm the man who walks away when the vibe is off. the man who traded validation for silence. and silence for power.


somewhere out there,

she's gonna smell smoke and remember me.

not because i begged for her love...

but because i became the fire.

Makaveli out.

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